Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Censorshit

Now, there are many things lacking in this country, but nothing annoys the hell out of me like the amount of censorship in this country. Seriously, if I were to list down the things that I don't like about this country, those at the censorship board would be on top of the list! Apparently, these people are pretentious enough to take their job much too seriously and think we appreciate what they are doing. We don't. Well, at least I don't. Let me tell you something; The three wise monkeys shouldn't live here, for movies are also a form of mass media. You would be offended to see news on tv being censored, right? So why is it that movies deserve anything less?

To the Censorship Board of Mofos, do you realise that you are showing the whole world how foolish you are by censoring too much? Here's a piece of my mind;

See No Evil?
When it comes to visual censorship, there are some things that I am willing to tolerate. Removing sex scenes are fine. I am not repulsed by them, but I believe any movie can go without showing people making love. It is after all, private stuff. Go ahead, censor them. I don't watch movies to see other people doing things I am not capable of getting (Haha!).

Censorship of nudity is also fine to an extent. I am not a pervert, but Goddamit! I have seen movies where they deleted an entire scene just because the female character was topless. What made me feel frustrated is because there were some crucial dialogue exchanges going on between the female character and the protagonist. Naturally, I had to do some inferencing because several important details were omitted from the film; all because she was showing some skin.

What would be better if you do what (Malaysian) Star Movies did to James Cameron's The Abyss [1989]; A female character was on the brink of death. She was drowning and there was a need to tear off her top and perform CPR on her. You can imagine that this is an intense scene, therefore instead of cutting the whole scene, they put that mosaic-effect over her chest. Although I scoffed at this, I still think that this is much better than just deleting the entire scene.

Hear No Evil?
I don't appreciate it when the dialogues are censored due to the use of profanities; I mean, C'mon! That's how people talk in real life! Just what are your trying to protect us from? Are our ears too delicate for harsh words? Of course not! We live in a country where even politicians and ministers act like mob bosses. So don't be a hypocrite and tell us what we can or cannot hear.

Another subject for debate, just what is their definition of 'profanity'? Aside from the obvious ones such as the f-word, I could not think of any more words that I think too vulgar for tv or movies. But every now and then, I hear words such as 'ass' being censored. It's a word! Just what is wrong with it? But then again, those at the board are probably not so fluent in the English language. At least not enough to know the difference when a particular "swear" word is being used as a noun, verb or adjective.

What is worse, foreign movies are not the only ones affected. Even our local films have been the subject of excessive-censorship for far too long. It seems like those at the board are harsher on our very own film-makers than those from Hollywood. Remember the film, Suami, Isteri dan... [1993]? I did know until recently that the title was supposed to be Suami, Isteri dan Jalang. Exactly how 'jalang' is too harsh for the silver screen? Another example is the indie film Kami the Movie [2008]. Look at the tagline. It says, "Hari ini memang ..., tapi esok masih ada". It was crudely censored, but it is supposed to say "Hari ini memang palat, tapi esok masih ada". I didn't even know until recently that 'palat' is considered as a swear word! I used to think that it is on the same level as 'bodoh', or 'bebal' - often seen even on primary school textbooks.

What can I say, those at the censorship board are idiots who have nothing better to with their time. You want to know what I think? I think that rating system (U, 18SG, etc) are there just for show. In truth, all movies that come through should be rated K - for Kiddie... It's true. I have seen many movies and I cannot tell the difference from films rated U to the ones rated as 18PL.

So to the Censorship Board of Mofos; Get a life! I didn't pay RM10 to see a dumbed-down, watered-down version of films YOU think are suitable for us. I am capable of telling what is good and what is not, and I have been able to do so since I was twelve!

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