Sunday, February 27, 2011

Twilight: Breaking Dawn will feature vampire sex (?)

Photo courtesy of E! Online...
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My only reaction was, "ew". But it quickly turned into bewilderment because I wonder how it's possible at all. But before we get to that, I have to be honest. I forgot all about the Twilight movies because I simply didn't find it interesting at all. I thought the first one was really good, but by the time Twilight: New Moon [2009] came out I just couldn't bear to watch anymore because it felt too much like writer/creator Stephenie Meyer's wet dream.

"I can type with only one hand most of the time..."
Believe it or not, Twilight: Eclipse [2010] went unnoticed and I was like, "What? How did this one sneaked past my radar?"... Yeah, I still haven't seen it.

But that's not important right now because I heard that the subsequent Twilight movies will feature vampire sex and vampire childbirth.


It doesn't matter how you spin it, the first time I heard the words "vampire sex" and "vampire childbirth", I tilted my head to one side wondering how is that even possible. It was well-established in the Twilight universe that Edward Cullen is cold to the touch, presumably because his heart doesn't pump any blood.

With that being said, there's no doubt in my mind that Edward Cullen is suffering from the worst case of erectile dysfunction ever. He's a living dead, and that includes the area below the belt. He wouldn't be able to get it up, let alone impregnate anyone.

Why do you think he's so grouchy all the time?
I wonder how they even have a movie at all, with all that going on. And God forbid, I don't want to know what went on inside Stephenie Meyer's mind throughout the process of writing the novels.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I THINK SINCE HE'S COLD N STIFF N DEAD/UNDEAD OR WTVR...THE KEYWORD HErE IS STIFF. MAYBE HE'D BEEN STIFF ALL THIS WHILE.LOL.
ERECTED OR NOT...HAHAHAHA

Mamü Miguel Ellezda Vies said...

Dang... You sound almost as creepy as Stephenie Meyer herself! LOL!

White Hooder said...

It surprises me why most of the male population is not fond of the Twilight series.

It must be because of the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" saying. But on second thought, well, both sexes are really from Earth.

So, is this the "male ego" talking? Hahahaha...

Mamü Miguel Ellezda Vies said...

Quite the contrary. I did mention that I absolutely love the first Twilight movie.

And I'm never too proud to admit that I can be a fan of some romantic movies as well.

So is it a question of male ego? Not at all. This is just me not liking movies with bad stories.

White Hooder said...

Saw that post, but apart from "10 Things I Hate About You" and " A Walk to Remember", the other 3 are not romantic movies.

Err. Twilight was never romantic, either. Ah well.

"Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah" the movie once said (more or less, I've added my own interpretation too): "Don't blame the author for movie adaptations with bad stories. Blame the director for bringing out the bad parts, and while you are at it, blame the scriptwriter as well."

Mamü Miguel Ellezda Vies said...

What are you talking about? Jerry Maguire is a romantic movie as well.

And you must be joking to say that Twilight isn't a romantic movie. What on Earth have you been smoking? LOL!

charlie fa said...

i dont watch twilight because i dont think it is fascinating.so is harry potter franchise.i mean,yes,vampire romance is too overrated.if i want to watch a romantic movie and wet my panties,i will watch something like Dirty Dancing Havana Night.i think i just prefer real things.

LOVEEE DEIGO LUNAAA!!! <3

Mamü Miguel Ellezda Vies said...

ahhhh... That's a very interesting info ;)
And yeah, I agree with you. I immensely enjoy fantasy/medieval stuff, but only when it comes to the overall lifestyle, battles, etc.

Courtly love? I don't think so.

Az said...

Wow! The entry with the word "sex" in the title probably has the most number of comments! Hahaha!

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