Sunday, March 13, 2011

5 Most Gratuitously Shirtless Guys

I don't know the history of it, but guys walking around topless had long been acceptable in any culture. It's a little tricky over here, nobody mind seeing a man topless, but somehow performing on-stage without a shirt on is treated like a blasphemy *snigger*.

A grossly overblown "controversy", if you even want to call it that...
With regard to movies, however, nobody in their right mind would complain about seeing some skin, especially if the situation calls for it. But there's also a downside to that, since there are guys who would stop at nothing to take their shirts off for at least one scene in every movie they have been in. Clearly an eye candy aimed for those with the XX chromosome, or maybe these guys simply enjoy the attention, all the while making every other guy feel bad about their flab.

I'm just kidding. I have no problem whatsoever with these guys taking their shirts off for a living. I just think it's funny, and pointing things out is one of the things that I do best.

#5 Jack Black
I don't like being fat, although I'll be the last one to judge anyone based on that. I just get a little annoyed when people pretend obesity is like homosexuality; you don't choose it, it chooses you.


So what does that has to do with Jack Black? Jokes aside, is this nice to look at?

Jack Black is not ashamed of his body, which is okay. But if you look like you could get a stroke at any second, you really shouldn't walk around reminding people that you're proud of your flab;

... again and again. Owh, before you attack me for having a go at him, saying that he's a comedian and it was all done for laughs... Well, you should be ashamed of yourself for enjoying fat jokes a little too much.

#4 Taylor Lautner
*Waits for the fangirl screams to subside*

Yeap, you know it. You just know he's going to end up on the list. How can you not? His acting capabilities, if he has any, is overshadowed by his solid abs which he gratuitously showcased starting from Twilight: New Moon [2009], I believe?

Yeah, yeah "the script called for it", I know you're thinking of that right now. But is there really a reason for him to be shirtless all the time? But then again, at least he's nice to look at.

I was just thinking about how he showed a lot more skin in one movie than most actors do in their entire career. But what else would you expect from a Stephenie Meyer wet dream?

#3 Bradley Cooper
Bradley Cooper is not yet a household name, at least not over here. But one look at the guy and most people will realise that they have seen him somewhere. However, I bet people remember his torso more than his face.

He's pretty nice on the eyes as well, I don't deny that. Although I can't help but chuckle when I saw The A-Team [2010] because his job description must have said something along the lines of "eye candy hunk who keeps getting caught with his shirt off".

Bradley Cooper in He's Just Not That Into You [2009]
The A-Team [2010]

#2 Hugh Jackman
Hugh Jackman is really handsome, and also very much in love with his physique. Can't say I blame him though, the dude is a beefcake whose career began to really take off after being cast as Wolverine in Bryan Singer's X-Men [2000].

I have little else to say. After all, they say that a picture says a thousand words. In that case, I have five thousand of them here.

#1 Matthew McCona... MacConnau... McConaughey
Yeap, you guessed it. How can Matthew McCona... MacConnau... *ahem* McConaughey end up any lower than number one on this list? He can't. Apparently every contract he signed must have included a clause that says he must be shirtless at some point of the movie for no apparent reason. That includes movies that doesn't feature any body of water. Just have the guy step out of the shower or something with only a towel around his waist.

But the funniest thing about it is that, unlike every other guy on the list, McConaughey's is a case of art imitating life. The dude apparently hates shirts so much, he is rarely seen wearing one. I don't have many stock photos of him, but you certainly don't need me to convince you regarding this matter. It's all there on Google for the world to see.

Well, good for you bro. With a body like that, I can't blame you.

Seriously, there's no need to add "shirtless" for a Google search on him...


charlie fa said...


u jealous kan sbb perempuan jarang topless?too bad!



Mamü Vies said...

... Jealous?
You have actually read the post, right? I'm completely neutral about this. Just pointing them out.
Besides, there's a better eye candy for me to actually be jealous - Cleavage and upskirt ;P

Az said...

You missed one - Ryan Reynolds.

Uhhhhh... Cair jap.

Anonymous said...

jack blask is the hottest in this post. That belly <3

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